Thursday, May 19, 2011

Chasing Butterflies

Those who know me and my family also know that we've been mired in some trying times of late.  Exacerbating the legitimate health issues of family and friends has been the senseless drama, injected by both expected and unexpected parties.  Any parent of a special child will empathize with my next statement.  We HATE drama.  We abhor it.  In truth, we live on the razor's edge of falling into it at any given time ourselves.  This is particularly true for those of us with developmental issues or those raising someone with them.  We've either conquered our own drama, or learned to teach someone else to live as free as possible from it.

At the risk of sounding indignant, how dare any of the rest of you bring us more?

Ok.  Last vent of the entry, I promise.  Just had to get that out of my system. 

I've had several epiphanies of late, particularly where this whole "drama topic" is concerned.  The vast majority of the drama that has been injected into our life has been rooted in a singular cause, control.  We Tourettes folk know that control is both elusive and illusive.  Control is no more easily achieved by the "neuro-normal" than it is for us.  The sad truth is that this universe is a chaotic, dangerous place for us all.  The ability to actually control anything for even the smallest segment of time is an illusion.  I'd make the argument that it's actually a delusion.  

I must confess that I am still perplexed by the extreme drive for control that seems so primal for many "neuro-normals".  We aliens are forced, generally at an early age, to kneel before the chaos.  We unwillingly confess that control beyond self is impossible and even irrational.  I suppose that we are blessed by this experience in some ways.    The "rest of you" seem to run higgldy-piggldy, sacrificing relationships, careers, reputations, and even fortunes are squandered in the desperate quest to experience the illusion of control.  To us, you seem to be chasing butterflies.


  1. Brian, you have the gift of clarity. I think it's a really good thing to say just what you mean. You said it well.

  2. Thanks bro. My clarity is my curse!!