I am currently in retreat. I have stepped off of the field of battle.
There comes a point in battle and in life where one must decide that the losses have been too great. Wisdom dictates that when one's forces have been shredded with barrage after barrage of withering fire, getting them to safety and reevaluating one's strategy is the best option. It is here that I find myself.
The past 8 years have seen the end of my career with the corporation I'd planned to retire from, the ensuing financial ruin, the effective end of my music career, desperate, yet failed attempts at weight loss, betrayal by family and friends, and far too many premature funerals. The term "battle fatigue" has a particularly appropriate ring to it. It's time to retreat to a defensible spot and "circle the wagons".
In taking stock of "the casualties", I find that my hopes, dreams, and goals all lie dead on the field. It would seem they never stood a chance. In stark relief to what is missing, it's impossible not to see the faithful friends who are "hunkered down" with me. The disappointment of watching the weak flee when the blood and guts started flying pales in comparison to the honor and sacrifice shown by those who never considered desertion an option. They remain with me, stalwart and demurring their own personal cost.
For now, retreat is a wise, tactical maneuver. It is not, nor will it ever be a strategic direction for me. My army and I regrouping. Anything approaching the perimeter will be shot on sight. We're down but not out.