Friday, October 14, 2011

Sometimes I Wonder....

Is what we're doing right?  Is it worth it?

None of our kids come with a manual.  I certainly didn't.  When it gets quiet, and we're all at the end of ourselves, I can't help but wonder.

We push Nathan and ourselves to the ragged edge of ability.  We pull.  We stretch.  Sometimes we tear.  All for what?  To help him merge with a society that will never fully accept him.  To help him seem a little less odd to people who will continue to see him that way to some degree?  To enable him to leverage his immense intellectual capacity only to have his social limitations prevent its use? 

Are we flogging this sweet, gentle young man for nothing?  I wish I knew. 

In truth, I don't know of any other viable option.  To leave him as he is at any given point is and always has been unconscionable.  History is peppered with great minds who are now believed to have been Autistic.  They are the exception, not the rule.  Still, they stand as an undeniable glimmer of what could be.  Only time will tell.

Hope and I still aren't on speaking terms, but I find no other option than to stay the course. 


  1. I wish I had some answers to give you, but the truth is we are basically all in the same boat. None of us really have any more instructions than the others on how to raise our children, all I can tell you is that we were all handed different boxes of parts to build responsible adults out of our children. The best thing we can do is to find friends and family to lean on, don't lose our faith in God and pray that we can do the our best.

    I have NO DOUBT that Nathan, you and Amanda and even Conner will come through everything that the world throws at you guys and I have faith that you will be continually surprised and blessed with the coming years. I also believe that there are things that have to be addressed differently in your situation, but if you raise your children in the way I know you are raising your children then you have nothing to worry about. Is everything going to be fine and peaches and roses? Maybe not, but arm yourself and your children to deal with what comes their way, don't forget your support system and have faith that they and you will emerge better for it.

  2. I am bettIng that acceptance and comfort will never be found by Nathan's parents as the watch from their parental perch, but maybe Nathan Will be perfectly fine with what he gets from society, and what he gives in return