It seems that most of our attention is spent discussing and dealing with those ways that our "special people" don't "meet expectation", so to speak. If we're really honest with ourselves, stating it in these terms isn't offensive, just brutally honest. The longer I live with Nathan, the more I discover that in many ways, he exceeds expectations, even when compared to "neuro typical" humans. One of these hit me square in the face today.
I find that in my own life and in that of my loved ones, we share a common hope that those who hurt us will someday "get it" and change their behavior, opinions, etc. Unfortunately, "neuro typicals" don't seem to have "stark epiphanies" very often. They learn things slowly over time. Their opinions and behaviors must be slowly eroded away by repeated encounters with multiple "teachers". Often the timescale is far too long for those they've injured to notice appreciable progress. Relationships end as a result. Both parties limp away, dragging their baggage behind them.
One of the most refreshing thing I've found in many "special folk" is their ability to change and adapt on a much quicker timescale and with far less resistance. It would seem that malleability is a "non typical" trait. Nathan is a great example. If I can show Nathan that his words or actions have hurt someone, and he understands the chain of events, he will never do or say that thing to that person again. Period. He values the person, sees the hurt, and changes course. It's amazing to watch.
The trick is getting him to understand that innocent intent doesn't always translate into innocent results. He's learning. The "getting him to understand" is the hard party. The change comes easy. Once again, totally opposite of "neuro typical" behavioral trends.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, once again, I seem to be losing track of who is doing the teaching.
Happy New Year dear readers.
I find that in my own life and in that of my loved ones, we share a common hope that those who hurt us will someday "get it" and change their behavior, opinions, etc. Unfortunately, "neuro typicals" don't seem to have "stark epiphanies" very often. They learn things slowly over time. Their opinions and behaviors must be slowly eroded away by repeated encounters with multiple "teachers". Often the timescale is far too long for those they've injured to notice appreciable progress. Relationships end as a result. Both parties limp away, dragging their baggage behind them.
One of the most refreshing thing I've found in many "special folk" is their ability to change and adapt on a much quicker timescale and with far less resistance. It would seem that malleability is a "non typical" trait. Nathan is a great example. If I can show Nathan that his words or actions have hurt someone, and he understands the chain of events, he will never do or say that thing to that person again. Period. He values the person, sees the hurt, and changes course. It's amazing to watch.
The trick is getting him to understand that innocent intent doesn't always translate into innocent results. He's learning. The "getting him to understand" is the hard party. The change comes easy. Once again, totally opposite of "neuro typical" behavioral trends.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record, once again, I seem to be losing track of who is doing the teaching.
Happy New Year dear readers.
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