Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Jesus, SSRIs, and Single Malt Scotch
These are "how I do it". I've had folks tell me they "just don't know how I do it". These are the secret.
First is my faith. My relationship with Christ defines me in ways that my damage never could. It keeps my focus beyond myself. My struggles and successes both find meaning in the light of my faith. I haven't talked much about my faith thus far. It isn't the blog's topic. I never want my readers to feel I'm pulling a "bait and switch". Honesty and transparency are the order of the day here at "Confessions". Still, no Jesus, no blog. Without my relationship with Christ, I just don't care about touching others. I'm way too focused on my own pain.
Next are my meds. I take the much maligned SSRIs. Most find it interesting that I take nothing for Tourette's. In truth, Tourette's isn't much of a bother. OCD runs me up the wall!! Being that Tourette's feeds on anxiety, and OCD generates it, treat the OCD, starve the Tourette's.
The meds allow me to be who I choose to be. I'm no longer driven between extremes of depression, mania, and any number of others. I'm calm. I have time to think, to react to life from an intellectual perspective. Without the meds, emotion is around the bend before intellect gets its shoes on. If you're looking for someone who's ashamed of being medicated, keep looking.
Then there's the Scotch. First of all, let me say it's not just about the alcohol. Cheap vodka will "get me there". Single Malt Scotch is art in a glass. Water, malted barley, yeast, barrels, and time. That's all that goes in. The palette of flavors is seemingly limitless. I'd drink this stuff were it not alcoholic. Amanda has heard me say "the nose alone is worth the cost of the bottle". Good Scotch makes the obsessive very happy. Each glass requires thought, analysis, and focus. The rest of the world fades as I seek the delicate, almost hidden flavor and bouquet notes. The obsessive can safely run wild. The alcohol gives the meds a little end of day boost, and I get my second wind.
These aren't all my secrets. I'll save some for later. You won't find this list in a textbook, or the latest self-help tome, but they sure work for me.